The Top Three Reasons Couples Argue (Relationship 101 Series)

1. Lack of Sex

Dr.Oz told the Boston Herald, “The average American has sex once a week. ” However, according to recent studies,  doubling sex to twice a week can cause you to live three years longer (Boston Herald). The problem that has been expressed to me is the fact that many women are feeling neglected in the sexual process. No foreplay, no orgasms, nothing throughout the entire sexual encounter.  The fantasy and thrill are both gone out of many relationships.  This is also a source of depression. Many relationships end because of this issue. What does that mean Dr.O? According to statistics, 1 in 7 women NEVER have an orgasm during intercourse.  This is criminal!  Men we need to get ourselves together.  This is also the most common sexual disorder diagnosed in women. As a result, many women feel sex is a chore, and in some circles even a waste of time. If there is no pleasure for women it can be just a relational obligation. This is now causing marital conflict and an increased rate of infidelity amongst women. Let me break it down in plain English brothers, “Stella ain’t the only one getting her groove back!”  The outcome results in more fighting and a higher percentage of women openly stepping out on their men. How about that for a 21st century change.

2. Lack of Finance

Brothers it is time out for our women being the bread winners. We have to step up to the plate. Yes, today is Women’s  Day. We have got to get it together. I am not convinced of the earth shattering “unemployment rate.”   In my small practice, I have created 4 positions in the last 10 months. All of the  males, except one, who presented where abysmal. They came late to the interview. One I am sure was “high.” Another brother lied on his resume. When I questioned him concerning qualifications on his resume he responded, “I am going to be honest, I did not write the resume.” Sometimes honesty is not the best policy! We must re-invent ourselves. The need for the common laborer has diminished significantly. However, there are programs available to help us move to the next level.  Brothers I understand that unemployment, depression, and criminal recidivism plague our communities but, we must take action! Women are very frustrated working all day while we sit and watch Judge Judy. Yes, brothers this is very common believe it or not.

3. Lack of Trust

Now this one belongs to the women. I understand that your last boyfriend or girlfriend messed around on you, but girlfriend you have got to get your paranoia in check.  Now in many cases, infidelity is the exception and not the rule.  If you are not sure about your spouse/lover’s level of committment check out the blog post on “How to Tell if Your Spouse/Lover is Cheating.” Now ladies you become angry when there is any level of irregularity without prior notification. Sometimes a soft answer turns away days of wrath. The nag, nag, nag may lead you to depression and further lack of sex. It is important to communicate and NOT argue. Share your feelings with your mate. Be honest and open and if you discover that he/she is cheating address it immediately!  The life you save may be your very own.

I want to hear from you! How have these reasons caused an argument in your relationship? What are some other reasons couples argue?

If you are feeling overwhelmed in your relationship take this survey at: Dr. Owens, Pre-Screen Mental Health Assessment

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