Getting Over Hurt: When Do You Let Go?

Is Love Sometimes, Or Never Enough?

Whether it’s  “I love you” or “I wish I never met you”, words can command emotions from us. At  times, it’s not only words, but actions. As a result, we feel happy, sad, confused, rejected or comforted. These are especially prevalent in relationships, where living and working with one another becomes a challenge. Too often, couples argue and become emotional over many differences, such as viewpoints, opinions and preferences. Despite these arguments and confrontations, we know that they’re only short-term, and we try to work things out. We try…and we try. But, what happens when the other person doesn’t cooperate? Instead, they sit idly by, as if amused by our attempts to better a relationship or marriage. After giving so much, wanting to throw our hands up, wanting to be met halfway, or at least a small distance, they still don’t respond…and we still try. But when is enough ENOUGH? What would that mean, or say about you? If you find these dynamics in your relationship, you may have to re-consider your position:

  • You’re always the first to call him/her.
  • You find yourself changing more than what is reasonable.
  • 50/50 slowly becomes 60/40, then 70/30, and so on…
  • Every subject you discuss with your partner results in defensive behavior.
  • A lot of your lover’s decisions are based on a singular mindset.

Remember this simple rule: YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO BE CHANGED! Dragging someone through a relationship, or trying to create an environment in which they’re not respondent will only wear you out. Despite those qualities, sometimes YOU might be the reason for your own downfall. Re-evaluate your actions after a simple disagreement or argument; do you find healthy distractions after a fight, or do you run straight to the phone to tell someone? Sometimes the way you react when communicating could be pushing your lover away. In that case, perhaps you haven’t tried hard enough after all. If you find improvements you can make, MAKE THEM! That might be the key to their cooperation as well.

  • What are some other ways you can tell when to let go of a relationship?
  • Do you have other methods of helping to support and strengthen a relationship?
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