Is She a Keeper Or a Sport Fish: Examining The 90 Day Rule

You’re sitting at a bar and a young lady notices you across the room. As you continue to talk with your friends, the two of you finally make eye contact. You smile and after a while you make your way across the room.


What happens next? According to the Steve Harvey’s immensely popular book “Act Like A Lady and Think Like A Man,” and #1 motion picture, “Think Like A Man”…you will wait 90 days.

Yes, that’s right. Harvey laments instituting a 3-month rule for sexual intimacy when you’re in the process of beginning a new relationship. Nowadays, most of y’all can barely wait 2 weeks before you’re waking up and wondering what you did last night – let alone an entire 90 days.  The film follows lead character Mya (Meagan Good), as she implements her new rule in determining whether or not her suitor is looking for a “keeper” or a “sport fish.”

If a man (or woman) is willing to wait 90 days before intimacy, then they’re definitely interested in the long haul and a “keeper”. While the guy who is flabbergasted that he can’t spend the night after your second dinner, is probably a “sport fish” and just wants to get the goods and move on.

It’s no secret that sex creates complications in a relationship…especially when you’re trying to get to know someone. The 90-day rule is similar to a probationary period at work for new employees. More often than not, you aren’t eligible for benefits until you pass this time period. It’s during this time that you remember to be on your best behavior! The goal – receiving the health benefits and etc. requires that you put your best foot forward.

Well, guess what? It works the exact same way in a relationship. The reason that you want to jump each others bones in the first few months is purely ANIMAL instinct. When you’ve had a chance to evaluate your potential mate on a basis other than physical attraction – you’re ready to make your decision. Do you really want to risk losing your life or running around with something that you can’t get rid of for a few moments of pleasure? Especially with someone who won’t be around to weather the storm. Eh, I didn’t think so.

Those chemically induced hormones urging you to take this new relationship to a physical level are strong, but you must become stronger. Creating an environment where your relationship has the opportunity to flourish and thrive…doesn’t start in the bedroom. Yes, we’ve all heard of the couple who got married after a one night stand…but realistically how often does that happen? How many times are you willing to give your body…on a hope and a dream?

More importantly, (and I’m keeping it real) sex clouds your judgement! We’ve all heard Jill Scott talk about being **k*matized. Having a clear head from of orgasmic memory will help you decide if this boo is worth keeping…or if it’s time to take out the trash.

4 Tips To Keeping The 90-Day Rule

  • No sleepovers
  • Do activities outside the house
  • Avoid overly sexual conversations, films, etc.
  • Avoid commitments

I may not agree with everything that Steve Harvey says…but this film has brought visibility to such a hot topic! Do you agree with Harvey’s advice? Should we wait 90 days before having sexual intimacy with a new boo? Sound off!

-Dr. O

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