You’ve ended your relationship. You’re not married. You’re not boyfriend and girlfriend and you’re not casually dating. At this point, you don’t even like them anymore but you constantly have them in and out of your life because of that one lapse in judgment. All you want to do is be done with this person forever and move on with your life, but you can’t. Why? Baby Daddy/Mamma drama.
These types of relationships have a lot of “back and forth” struggles in them. The parents often argue over issues like who the child will live with, visitation rights, school, other family members they want them to visit and most importantly, money. How many times have we heard about a deadbeat dad not paying child support? How many times have you heard your male friends talk about how much child support is taking out of his check? How many times have you listened to your girlfriend complain about what her child needs but is not getting it from the father? Too many times to count right? Drama.
The child has to be cared for, regardless if the parents get along or not. Unfortunately, this type of relationship only makes parenting more challenging and can cause unneeded stress on the child.
Check out this excerpt from my new book “Am I in a Bad Relationship?” :
For women just dating or carrying on a non-committed sexual relationship with a man, be mindful of the fact that you may become pregnant. What if you are in a dysfunctional love triangle, wherein he is married or has a serious girlfriend and your “relationship” with him will never grow stronger because it is not based on honesty and dual commitment to a common bond. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that he will end his long-term marriage just because you are expecting a child. Are you prepared for the possible rejection from your partner when he finds out that you are pregnant? If you are with a man who has taken on another significant female partner, be very cautious.
If you’re in a relationship and partake in premarital sex, make sure you take all the appropriate measures to steer clear of this type of drama. If kids are not wanted by both parties or if one doesn’t want to fully support the child(ren) then you’re in for a long 18 year ride.
Tell me your thoughts on this issue. Do you have an interesting “Baby Daddy/Momma” story?
Dr. O
