Don’t Ask Me Why I’m Still Single

If this is your current relationship status, then you already know how annoying it is when someone asks “so why are you still single”? I know most people mean well when they try to give relationship advice, but let’s be honest, most people also are not qualified to do so anyway. Your friend’s way of bringing up your love life or lack there of, whenever the two of see each other may seem helpful in her eyes because she thinks forcing you to talk about it will some how give you revelation as to why you’re single but you, the single person being talked about, probably just wants her to shut up about it. According to Yahoo! Shine, there are ten things you just don’t say to single people.

Shine reports that asking “why aren’t you married?”, “have you tried online dating?” and “stop being so picky” are the top three questions or phrases to single people. Think about it, and place the shoe on the other foot. Prior to your marriage or relationship, how would you feel if someone was repeatedly asking you why you were not married/with someone? Who wants to be badgered about something that the both of you know you want but have not obtained yet and you have no control of when it will be achieved.

Online dating does lead to marriage for some people but it’s risky. As I’ve told you before, finding love online is possible but many people go to great lengths to deceive people in the virtual world for their own pleasure which could leave you with the short end of the stick. There’s a whole show dedicated to exposing these types of love pitfalls on MTV’s  “Catfish” reality show.

Yes, some people do have a ridiculous set of requirements for a potential mate that can definitely turn any possible contenders away and while a mile long list of requirements is a bit overboard, there’s nothing wrong with having standards for a potential mate, nor is it wrong to wait until you find the right person who fulfills them. I’ll give you an example, saying that your mate has to have a certain level of income when you meet him, or only considering men who are 6’2 and above or saying that he has to come from a certain area are ridiculous requirements. But if you were to say that your potential mate has to be respectful, loving, trustworthy, God- fearing, family oriented and ready to commit long-term, then those are acceptable standards that should be upheld until they are met by the right person.

Below is an another example of what not to say to a single person. As reported by Yahoo! Shine:

“What ever happened with [insert ex’s name here]?”
This is one of the worst things you can say to your friend, according to experts. “When a relationship ends, there’s usually some degree of sadness, even if your friend is the one who initiated the breakup,” says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Find Your Soulmate Online in Six Simple Steps. “Dredging everything back up is hurtful.” Skip this question; if she wants to talk about it, she’ll bring it up on her own.

So if this happens to be you, next time try to explain to your friends and family how their constant relationship inquires are rubbing you the wrong way and  try to keep in mind that they have your best interest at heart when you start to get  more than annoyed with them for meddling or trying to fix your love life.

Dr. O

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