My Husband is Freaky in the Bedroom and I am Saved, What Should I Do?

This post is for married saved couples only. It is also RATED PG-13.

This is  a very common complaint that I hear in my practice. Some people call it being unequally yoked, but others call it a sex addict. The modern day “Christian Tenets” states, “No pre-marital sex.” Although, this may hold true, there should be some discussion along the lines of sexual appetite and future requests, if you know what I mean. By now you are either very interested in what I am about to say, or in total denial and about to leave the page. Here are some facts about marriage.

1. Intimacy is a key factor.

2. The “bed” (in marriage) is undefiled according to scripture.

3.  Many of you were NOT virgins when you got married.

4.  Lack of sex has been proven to be a leading cause for the discussion of divorce.

5. Sex is required for procreation.

I know that this is a controversial topic, but someone has to start the discussion. First off, one has to define, “What is a Freak/or Freaky?” Some terms have been used loosely in the church to condone others that believe differently on certain topics, issues and or positions. Let’s face it people, we have to start discussions in the church about this issue. Too often, I meet the licensed female credential holder who places the church before the needs of her family and or her man. Now when he starts to creep, you want pastoral counseling. I say “put a plug in it.” God should be first in our lives, then our families (to include spouses) and then your church-work. Some people use church work to diminish the latitude of their relationship. This has certainly lead to the increase in the number of divorces in the church-place. Getting back to the concept of a freak, he was a freak when you meet him.  Frequency of sex, in marriage changes, but appetite usually does not (if you know what I mean). I know that many of you are gasping for air by now, but just hold on to your undies because the marriage that you save, may just be your very own. Black-woman-conservative-sexually

Now men this goes both ways. Some of you are known as, “The quicker picker upper (AKA the minute man)! Did you know, that according to some research, greater than 50% of some women, in some cultures, have never had an orgasm. Yes, this is true. You may not want to believe it but it’s true, it’s true, and oh so very true. Many women, in our churches, have moved towards Kandi (RHOA) for help. This sounds humorous but it is the sad truth. I would like to offer a couple of quick solutions for you to help keep the bedroom alive in your Christian marriage.


1. Change the sheets (The ones on your bed are dirty and malodorous).


2. Ask your spouse, “Baby what is the flavor of the day?” (Try something new on; the washing machine, in the garage, on your own back porch and NOT in the park).


3. Be sure that you are fresh (breath and all other pertinent parts).


4. Put a dimmer on that light.


5. Create a surprise element (throw away that old gown and those dingy draws).


Finally, a little Luther is always appropriate. Don’t be afraid to caress your spouse. Throw away that pornography. This ruins a lot of marriages.  Yes, I have heard of this, a lot of saints utilize “tapes” in the bedroom. Why is this a problem? I will discuss this issue in detail in another post.


I hope that I took your breath away, but if you married that freak, do like the old church mother said, “Stay with him!” Keep your marriages alive people, Let’s grab hold of that divorce rate and put a little more fire back in the bedroom.


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