How to Deal With Infidelity in my Relationship: Lemonade Style

One of the most common questions I am presented with by patients is “How do I deal with infidelity in my relationship?”  The psychological consequential affects after dealing with infidelity in a relationship can be devastating and in the worst case scenario sometimes life threatening.

In some cases I recommend patients create a journal to help them cope with some of their personal issues in conjunction with the psychiatric treatment I am providing them.  This may consist of intense psychotherapy and medication management.  Writing how you feel allows you to express and sort out your emotions to prevent you from becoming overwhelmed with thoughts that can cause your emotions to wax and wane, reducing some of your symptomatology.

Beyoncé’s artistic expression “Lemonade” which was just released this past Saturday is a prime example of how to use writing as an outlet for your emotions.  In psychiatry we usually refer to the 5 stages of loss or grief.  Beyonce used the basic principles of these stages and expanded upon them creating 11 of her own personal stages.  See Below:

  • Intuition- The woman’s ability to understand something without it having to be explained.
    • Many Women coined the term “a woman’s intuition” as a popular way to express when they have insight and foresight on things to come to past.
  • Denial- The woman’s tendency to avoid the truth.
    • Beyonce expresses what every woman usually experiences when they adamantly do not want to believe what is evidently a truth.
  • Anger- An emotion induced when being wronged by those you care for.
    • Regretfully Beyonce expresses the anger she is engulfed with after realizing her truth as her alter egos battle to the surface of her psyche: Jealous vs. Crazy
  • Apathy- The decline of interest in something that was once important.
    • After experiencing disappointment and anger one usually comes to a stage in which they no longer care almost to the point of giving up.
  • Emptiness- Feeling incomplete when you have been wronged or left by someone, or having to leave someone.
    • Some people may agree or disagree  but for about a year Beyonce almost appeared to be “going through the motions” ..Doing business as usual most likely due to this feeling of emptiness.
  • Accountability- Holding relevant participants responsible; including oneself.
    • Beyonce seemingly decides at this juncture she will not be a victim of her circumstance and not only does she take accountability she also makes those around her take responsibility for their actions i.e her husband and father.
  • Reformation- The woman’s ability to get it back together!
    • This is the moment Beyonce starts the process of making lemonade from lemons.
  • Forgiveness- Her need to forgive herself and him. One of the hardest things to do is to forgive because you are forced to accept what has occurred and compartmentalize, understand it for what it was, and move on.
  • Resurrection– Coming back to life—
    • This is the moment Beyonce regains herself and becomes the person she is meant to be.  Many times people lose themselves in a relationship allowing those around them to define who they are.
  • Hope- Gracefully Looking forward to the future.
    • This stage is very important.  Creating and consistently maintaining an optimistic outlook on life.
  • Redemption- The woman’s ability to be saved by herself and God.

Let me know what your thoughts are about cheating and remaining in a relationship afterwards….


To get a more detail breakdown of the video click here:


Enough Said,


Dr. O

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