What Causes Insecurities in Relationships?
Ever wonder why you or your partner has insecurities when it comes to your relationship? There is a plethora of things that can contribute to insecurities like the past, present and even you as a partner. Truth be told, it is human nature to feel insecure about one thing or another especially when it comes to the opposite sex. In survey done by Glamour, 54 % of women and 33% of men between the ages of 18 to 40 suffer from insecurity. Insecurity is the number one reason relationships end. The key to successful relationships are finding those insecurities and doing whatever it takes to heal them or positively co-exist with them.
The Past- Personal Factors
Past experiences can develop insecurities within yourself, or towards your partner. The past could have left you or your partner with a multitude of trust issues. This can lead to the expectation of cheating, dishonesty, and/or being let down. The past may be filled with lies, poor judgment, money problems, and more. Even the thought of not knowing your partner’s past fully, can cause hidden tensions that are often difficult to express. Be careful with allowing your past to make you insecure. Be careful with allowing your partners past to make them feel insecure.
The Present- External Factors
Current money differences, family problems, work issues, the media, and growing desires can lead to insecurities as well. If your partner makes more than you or not enough and you all have not established an efficient comfortability with the difference, someone will eventually become insecure. Your partner may have family issues outside of the relationship. It is common that detrimental family issues make your partner examine your behavior in the midst of these issues and question how it affects you as a person. For example, if your parents have money issues or are divorced, your partner may think you are prone to similar circumstances. If their family structure seems flawless while yours is a little dis-functioned, you may wonder what type of impression that makes on your partner. Work status and issues have similar affects. The current media has caused many women and men to feel insecure with their looks and money status. Most women do not fit in the media’s definition of beauty or rich, neither do men. It is important to let your partner know that they are attractive and enough just the way the way they are. Growing desires may include but are not limited traveling, career or health efforts, sexual fantasies, or family building. If your partner does not agree with your wants, this may lead to you being insecure or vice versa.
Partner Fueled Insecurities- Constantly Not Feeling like Enough
Lastly, you may be the reason your partner is insecure. You may be doing this inadvertently or intentionally but in both regards, these insecurities are the most detrimental. There is always room for improvement, but constant arguments, lack of specific gratitude and affection, and unconscious expression of displeasure can lead your partner to being insecure. If your partner knows that you know they maybe suffering from a self-affliction, and you do not cater to this problem, their insecurity will worsen as they may feel like you do not care. You must show constant satisfaction and solidarity. If your partner is overweight and dark with short hair and you express aesthetic admiration for people who are skinny and light with long hair, you may be inadvertently making your partner question themselves. Be careful with your admiration and attention. If your partner has discussed specific insecurities with you, cater to them and let them know you hear them loud and clear.
Insecurities ultimately determine the longevity of relationships. Ignoring them can lead to house hold tension, poor sex, and overall unhappiness. It is important to figure out these insecurities and divest them. Do you or your partner have any? Talk to your partner today!