Relationships are work. Period. The majority of people involved in them want the best for themselves and their partner. Being  compatible with someone you enjoy spending time with can be an amazing feeling but as can be expected, spending so much time together with one person will ultimately lead to disagreements about something at one point or another. It’s healthy for couples to argue every once and a while but constant screaming matches about any and everything is not a good sign and could lead to a  failed relationship. Want to know why some relationships don’t stand the test of time?

Here are a few of the top 10 reasons:

1. Poor Communication– Many couples have problems with communication. You and your partner have to be open and honest about all of the issues that come up in your relationship. If you truly want to grow, Don’t be afraid to speak your mind and or share ypur feelings. This is very important in a healthy relationship.
2. Infidelity– The grass looks greener on the other side, but it is usually withered. In addition, if your mate finds out about your infidelity, they may just get back at you by sleeping with someone else. How can a relationship grow when so much mistrust dwells inside of both of you? You and your partner may no longer trust the other to be the soul mate you’d hoped to spend the rest of your lives with, and that is the beginning of many problems to come.
3. Unemployment– Unemployment is so unattractive. Brothers: you have to get a job, or at least be actively searching for one in order to get a woman who’ll respect you and consider you a man who can take care of a family in the future.
4. Cash Flow Problems-“Money looking kind of funny?” Lack of funds usually lead to trouble. Having children (AKA “Extra Cost”) can strain the relationship, as well as other expenses.
5. Irregular Sex- Make sure that you and your partner are sexually compatible.
6. Premature Ejaculation: Let you partner know up front that logevity in sex is something you may require
7. Excessive Working: Working overtime may pay the bills but is it hurting your love life?
8. Having a sad pal:  Having friends that are always down and needy can drain your relationship.
9. Lack of Intimacy: Don’t forget to have a sensitive/sensual side.  Having sex is not intimacy!! Plan alone time and be romantic every now and then.
10. Unemployment: Failure to maintain a job or lack of goals can turn your partner off.

Breaking up is hard to do but when you’ve made up your that enough is enough, it’s all a matter of figuring out the right time to deliver the blow.  Relationships break down for all kinds of reasons. Financial struggles,changing  family dynamics, or infidelity are reasons people decide to call a quits.
Once you’ve had your last straw and you know that it’s over, you’ll start to notice more signs that your love has died for this person. According to Black Media Scoop, there are eleven signs that signal you are over your relationship. BMS reports that if you’re not compatible anymore, it’s likely that you won’t last much longer. Take a couple who married young, let’s say straight out of high school. They’ve been married for ten years and are now in completely different places in life. When the two met, both were from a small town, were close knit with their families and were more like like social moths then butterflies. Now, the wife has come out of her shell, has gotten a big city job and wants to spread her wings by moving and meeting new people. While the husband is still that same guy she met back in high school and shows no interest in leaving his hometown or big city living. If  they stay together, one or both of them will end up unhappy.

BMS also reports that settling and having trouble saying “I love you” are also signs that you are ready to find someone new. If you’ve pictured a certain type of guy that you want in your life and the one you have doesn’t meet one of those qualifications then the relationship may not last much longer. You’ll get tired of him not really being what you wanted in the first place and end up miserable. The most obvious reason people get together is that they love each other. If you’ve been having difficulty showing or even saying that you love your significant other or it literally bothers you to use the phrase, you’re probably over him/her.

After reading this, does any of it apply to you or someone you know? There are always signs that something is going or about to go wrong, we just have to pay attention to where they’re taking us. For the extended version of this list, purchase my new book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship?”

Dr. O