Well, this one is for all of those late 60s and early 70s babies. This questions comes up a lot in couples therapy. Oftentimes, the problems stem from incompatibility in hormonal cycles of the couples. For example, pre-menopausal, peri-menopausal and post-menopausal can certainly have very different hormonal pictures and sex-drives. Some women get a little frisky before and during but after they flat line. This can certainly cause problems in relationships and lead to infidelity.
However, I will never forget a man that came into the office because he alleged that his wife was “wearing him out.” He reported that she wanted sex several times a day and that he could not longer do it. He subsequently moved-out and they actually divorced.(True Story) She actaully had to get a younger husband the next go-araound to meet her optimal sexual needs. She is now happy. As ridiculous as this story may sound, this is becoming more of a problem. In the past, many women were not acheiving orgamic experiences, but this new generations is not tolerating that as much. As a result, they require more from their partner. A man must be able to meet the needs of his mate, if he is going to survive.
Another complicating factor is some people have odd and different religious beliefs. One woman, in therapy reportes that she felt that sex was only for procreation. Her husband was furious and frustrated to say the least. She belongs to a pentecostal church and had been taught that sex was bad, mean and ugly except when the Pastor sanctioned it. Idid not ask her what she meant by that statement but, I could just imagine.
So inconclusion her are my recommendations;
1. If you are Pre-menopausal and 40 over, sex once a week is appropriate. Use the rest of your spare time to volunteer in the community.
2. If you are Peri-menopausal and over 40, sex bi-monthly should be sufficient.
3. If you are post menopausal and over 40, and occasional dab every other month should do.
Just kidding with you guys and gals out there. It is important to watch the rhythym and sexual appetite of your spouse/mate. This becomes very important as you age. Things do change and sometimes you may have to turn on a little Luther Vandross and dip some strawberries in chocolate. Whatever you do, please keep your home happy and don’t let others intefere in your relationship.
For more information, don’t forget to pick-up my book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship?” There are a couple of secrets in there to keep the bed warm and your relationship on fire!