This is a question that one of my patient’s asked me in session last week. I had never really thought about it until she posed the question, “Is an Orgasm Required for Good Sex?” Well, being a Psychaitrist I had to think fast and provide a response within the therapeutic hour. My response was, “Why do you ask?” She replied, “Well DrO, I have never had an orgasm!” She reports that, based on her religion, she thought that the man was the only one who should enjoy sex. She had been taught in her religious assembly that sex was basically to procreate. I was astonished.

Later in the hour, I asked, “What brough on such a query?” She stated, ” I have read something on FaceBook about women can have orgasms.” My response was, “That is true.” She told me that she thought that she had one last year but she just kept quiet. “You see, my husbands doesn’t like a whole lot of noise during intercourse.” The lady then broke down and began to cry. She stated, “I am a freak and I really want to get it out of me.” I said, “Have you confronted your husband about your needs?” She said, “Are you kidding. I would be put out of the church.” (I started to title this post, “Church Lady Blues.”)

I let her know that she has just as much right to an orgasm during sex as her husband. However, I did let her now that several women go through their entire life and birth-cycle without ever the fulfillment of this experience.

Questions:

1. Would you stay in a relationship where you were sexually unsatisfied?

2. Have you ever had an orgasm?

3. Do you let your lover/spouse know your sexual need?

4. Do you just see sex as a madatory chore?

For more insights into your sexual fantasies, check out my book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship?” There is a lot of good stuff in here just for the lover in you!

Thanks for stopping by,

Dr.O

According to Bossip.com these are some ways to enhance your orgasms:

Relax – having an orgasm means that your muscles will contract involuntarily, so why are you tensing up beforehand? Make sense? In order to achieve that explosive feeling throughout the entire body, you have to relax. When you’re tense or clenching certain areas of your body, like the shoulders and neck, it’s harder for the energies to flow versus a relaxed and sound body. Seriously, check the shoulders, if they’re sort of jacked up to your ears almost, then you need to relax. Which brings us to the next tip!

Breathe – When you feel yourself reaching the peak of your arousal. Don’t stop breathing! A lot of times, we do this a lot without knowing. If you take deep breaths deep into your diaphragm you can actually feel the climax intensify as you’re breathing. When you finally release, you’ll feel it throughout your body. That spasmodic jerking and the shakes should occur all at once, so try not to let those quick impulses to release take over the moment. Mind over matter … breathe!

Visualize – believe it or not, visualization is a huge part of achieving any feat. So when you’re enjoying intimacy with your partner picture a wave of energy or a glow that envelops you and your lover, you can even give them a color, and sort of visualize them coming together. With practice you’ll start to feel the fusion of your vibrations. It’s about sharing a continuous flow of energy. If you do this, you’ll notice that you might start breathing together or simultaneously inhaling and exhaling. Again, breathing deeply is a huge part of this practice! Not only can you enhance your orgasm, you might end up having one together.

Redirect Your Focus – while in the midst of an intimate session, we tend to focus on the mid-region and the obvious body parts that heighten arousal. But let’s not forget that the body is loaded with nerve endings that can gives off vibrations of euphoria. A gentle tugging of the hair and a whisper in the ear or broad hand strokes from the base of the spine up through the scalp are good ways to spark the senses. Exploration is key.

Work Your Parts – a large part of having better orgasms is awareness. Exercise your pelvis and strengthen your PC muscles with Kegel exercises. Also, any core strengthening, like yoga or pilates, helps maximize blood flow to your pelvic region! Building and strengthening this muscle group will ultimately result in stronger, longer orgasms! Fellas, you can do Kegel exercises and yoga too, so be open to try it!

– See more at: http://bossip.com/237734/a-list-of-ways-to-enhance-your-orgasms/#sthash.691Aayh4.dpuf