Ladies, let’s just nip this in the bud right now. Getting pregnant to keep your man is never, ever, ever a good idea. If he was on the verge of leaving you before the pregnancy than adding a child into the mix will most likely just prolong his exit, not make him forget about completely. I’ve heard of some pretty interesting to say the least, ways of executing this plan and I’m sure you all have heard a few as well. Turkey basters, plastic bags, “forgetting” to take your birth control, being overly generous with your lady parts, just use your imagination because I’m sure some of you have heard worse than what I’ve listed.
Trapping your mate into having a baby is just over the top dishonest. A good, solid relationship is based on trust. Do you really think your partner will be willing to trust you again when he finds out about your little baby making plan? I can tell you one thing, if having kids was no where near his thought pattern then he’s probably not going to be too happy with you.
Female: “Hey, guess what honey? I’m pregnant!”
Male: “Really? That’s great babe, I’m so excited!”
That’s the type of response you want to hear from your significant other when you tell them you’re bringing new life into the world. On the other hand, if you’re one of those oh so cleaver people who decides that a baby, whether he wants it or not will save your relationship, your big moment will probably go more like this:
Female: “Guess what babe? I know you weren’t expecting it but I’m pregnant!”
Male: “What the hell you mean you’re pregnant? We’ve been careful. You know I don’t want kids right now. You’ve been on the pill so how did this happen?”
Female: “I stopped taking them two months ago”.
Male: ” Without telling me? Good luck with that”. *Walks out the door. Now you’re an instant single parent*
Rightfully so. I wouldn’t blame him for leaving you then. A baby won’t make him love you and it certainly won’t make him stay. Children don’t fix relationships and they’re not supposed to. They’re supposed to add joy and new perspectives in a relationship, not be the flimsy glue that holds them together. To top it off, this type of deception could cause serious resentment for you, the father and the child.
So, if your relationship has run its course, just let it go. I know it can be challenging to think about losing the one you love but if you really love them you won’t try to deceive them to this magnitude. Learn to either reconcile or release. For more relationship advice such as this, check out my new book “Am I in a Bad Relationship?” .
Dr.O
