Cheating is considered one of the top factors in why relationships take a turn for the worse. Thousands of couples are sitting in therapy right now because one or both of the individuals have been unfaithful to the relationship. Some may argue that many will physically cheat on a partner at least once in their lives for various reasons. They may feel neglected at home and become stimulated by outside attention. They could be sexually unsatisfied and seeking new trills, or they could be doing it out of spite for being cheated on first. Whatever your reason (and know that no reason for cheating is a good one), if you want to have a chance at reviving or saving your relationship, it’s best that you tell your partner about your infidelity whether they’ve discovered it yet or not.
The old saying that everything done in the dark will eventually come to light could not be more prevalent when it comes to being unfaithful. Just when you thought you’ve gotten away with it, he/she finds a clue, a questionable text message is sent, someone says they saw you out together or a friend or family member beats you to the punch. Now there’s little chance that your partner will ever believe that you were going to tell them in the first place.
Below is an excerpt of a woman who cheated on her significant other and got away with it.
I am currently in a relationship, which I have been in for five years now. This past month I found myself physically cheating on my significant other. I significantly regret what I have done and I am sure of the fact that it will never happen again. It occurred at a rough period in our relationship and I took advantage of an opportunity presented to me. Since the incident occurred I have been having problems sleeping and I have been having trouble discussing feelings with my partner. Cheating has actually shown me how much I do love them, and I am afraid that if I admit what I have done it will be the end of our relationship. I know honesty and trust play a major role in a successful relationship, but is it necessary to admit to cheating if I am positive it will never happen again?
Even if you do manage to have a “successful” affair with someone, eventually the guilt will overwhelm you. You may have come to the realization that you really do love and care for your partner but now you’ve tainted that love by intertwining it with an outsider. Plus, if you’re never confronted with it, you may feel like you can get away with it again even if you’ve promised you would never do it again. Keep in mind that a lot of people swear to never do certain things again once they’ve gotten caught.
What do you think? Is it better to face the music and admit cheating to your partner? Does it give the person that was cheated on an advantage over you? Tell me your thoughts?
For more insight on relationships, purchase my new book “Am I in a Bad Relationship?”.
-Dr. O
