10 ways to effectively break-up is an article needed by a lot of readers. Many of my patients and friends find themselves in cyclic bad relationships. I am sure by now, most of you have picked-up my book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship” by now. If you haven’t it is certainly good, easy and quick reading. I had a patient that was in a “bad-relationship” tell me that she read it in one setting and it was just what the doctor ordered. LOL
First off, how do you know you are in a “bad-relationship?”
1. Gut-It usually let’s you know if there is someone or something else. Trust it.
2. He or she doesn’t answer your phones and or texts. If there is this massive communication break-down and his/her phone always has an issue, there are probably seeking happiness elsewhere.
3. The “cat in the hat is dead.” Lack or no intimacy. If you require or need intimacy, amongst other things and are not getting, you will become frustrated, angry and other areas of your life may suffer. Move on!
4. They tell you. If someone tells you that it is not working-out, believe them. You are better off accepting the inevitable anyway.
5. You are no longer excited by the sight or smell of your lover. Enough said..
Those are just really quick 5 points to wet your appetite. Now let’s get to the good stuff, “How to break this thing off?”
1. Remove pictures and all other reminders.-This is the first essential action. Pictures everywhere will just keep the wound open.
2. Set an emotional break-up date in your mind and stick to it. ( example: November 1, 2014) That is the date. If he/she doesn’t get it together I am out. Make a decision and stick to it. (use “repressed” anger appropriately)
3. Decrease gradually the late night calling. ( You know what I am talking about…)Call him or her earlier in the day so when you go to bed, something else like the t.v. show “Scandal” might just be on your mind.
4. Stop going over his/her parents house engaging in a false friendship. It’s usually just causing more pain when the break-up becomes real. This should be gradual, also. And no, you should NOT be taking his mother( sister, brother and dem) shopping while you two are in a break-up conundrum.
5. Turn the love songs off for a season. They drive emotions and libido. (Definition of libido=sex drive) Hit the jazz or rap stations for a bit. Take-up line dancing for a season. (electric slide, Cupid shuffle, and others)
6. Pack his/her stuff, to include his/her toothbrush up in a box. Place the box in the garage or crawl space under the house. The life you save my be your very own.
7. Recover all keys and garage door openers. Access denied!
8. Do NOT entertain any new “dates” during the break-up period. Hang-out with family and friends. Go to church or attend a revival.
9. Do NOT find comfort in alcohol, food or sex. This is a definite no.
10. Make the conscious decision to move on.
Now, if you are still not sleeping, not eating or unable to get your get-up and go to get-up and go; please seek-out professional and licensed mental help. It should take no longer than 4-6 weeks to complete the break-up process with or without assistance.
Thanks for stopping by,
Back in the saddle and writing again