Should I stay or should I go is the question? This may sound simple but for many, it is just not that simple. You see , LOVE can be complicated and can have many bells and whistles. Some may say, just go or walk-away-if you find your companion being unfaithful or using tools of manipulation. However, I ( a psychiatrist) often ask the question, what makes a person even stay with someone who may be causing them emotional or physical harm. Here are a couple of hypothesis:
- We all have a need to be loved. With this some will accept maltreatment of even be dogged-out by someone whom you know doesn’t really love you.
- Fear of being alone. This is a truth that many are afraid to face. Many people are uncomfortable with those few moments of silence with “thyself.” After all, this can be a time of self-reflection and God knows just what you may discover with a few moments of introspection.
- Low Self-Esteem. This is a serious issue. Many people need others to validate who they are and why they even exist. They may or may not get this from their relationship, but some people are willing to “wait for it”even if it doesn’t come regularly.
- A Piece of Man or Woman. (Intimacy and Sex)Yes, it is true there are still people that will accept a “piece” and have no “peace” rather than be alone. There are a lot of couples that have bad intimacy and relations. There are still married couples that have no sex. Statistics state that approximately 75% of women never reach orgasm from sexual intercourse alone. This is dismal and can lead to workplace and church place frustration and aggression.
So getting back to the question, what might be some indications that it is time to go:
- Any form of verbal, physical, emotional or financial abuse
- Constant arguing
- Poor, lack-of and or no communication
- No sex
- No sex
- No sex
- Irreconcilable differences
- Recurrent cheating*
- Absence of Connection
- Bad breath
* To be defined by the couple
Now, I am sure that the post will stir up a lot of controversy. However, what would you do if you caught your spouse cheating in your bed when you came home early from work?
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