My Boyfriend Is Married: What Should I Do?

Dear Dr.O,

I have been mad at you for a couple of days. I am a faithful reader of the BLOG but you pissed me off with your post about Fantasia.  As a result, I took a few days off from reading and commenting on the post. I really thought that you should take the title “Relationship Expert” down! I also noticed that you did not get a whole lot of comments on that post, either. However, I took a step back and analyzed what was really going on. It is now time for a true confession: I believe my boyfriend is married. I should be totally transparent and just say that I know for a fact he is married.

Dr.Owens, here is my problem: my ex-husband (a preacher) was physically and verbally abusive. Moreover, I am almost sure that he is bi-sexual. His best friend, another married preacher,  always came before me and our family (we have two kids together).  If I questioned him about their suspected relationship, he would get physically aggressive and not take me to church for several Sundays. I finally got tired of him, his 2 minute sex and asked him to leave.  Our pastor was totally against it and all but asked me to leave the church. I am not going anywhere; he has interestingly taken me down from all positions, but he really does not want to cross me too much because I know some of his secrets too.

Now JB is different; he is attentive and financially supportive. The sex is unbelievable; I’d never had an orgasm until I met him. I was getting tingles from my previous dates, but not orgasms. This guy takes me to a different place. I don’t mind when he has to leave at 9:30 to go home, because I feel free. However, I am an Evangelist in the church and I know this is wrong. He used to go to the church but he left because he was not being fed. His wife does not understand him at all. My children also really respect and enjoy being around him. He also loves my fried chicken.

Dr.Owens, I feel sort of like Fantasia. What should I do? Should I break it off or what? Am I wrong for having sex with him?

Please help,


Do any readers have advice for LaTasha? What should she do about having a relationship with a married man? Comment on the blog and help her out!

You may be feeling signs of depression or confusion from an unsure or abusive relationship and never know it. Take the Dr. Owens Mental Health Prescreen Assessment and check your mental status. We are here for you!

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