Relationship 101 Series – Divorce: Should We Stay Together? (Part I)

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This blog post will be in a three-part series:

A. Should we stay together?

B. Is it (the divorce) for the good of the kids?

C. Is there life AFTER divorce?

If the LOVE is lost, just move on.

Tim and Lisa are happily married for 8 years, with 2 children, 2 cars and a nice home. While Tim is working long hours to construct a multi-million dollar engineering company, Lisa is supporting and helping the family by raising the kids and tending to the home. For the next 2 years, this is the life that Tim and Lisa lead: Tim is away on business 5 days of the week to help his business launch, and Lisa is involved with taking care of household duties and attending PTA meetings with the other soccer Moms.

Although both are content with their roles, something terribly bad is happening: Tim and Lisa consciously exist in two different worlds. Consequently, they decide to file for divorce despite positive speculations from mutual friends. Even after having gone through counseling for the children’s sake, neither one of them will compromise their individual lifestyles to repair the marriage. They finalize their divorce soon after, and decide to share custody while still maintaining their respectable lives.

A. Should we stay together? The answer to that question revolves around the ability to change, which is a dynamic most people will or won’t have in marriages. Another issue which may develop from this question is the “numbers” game, in that marital success is a matter of the accumulation of years, rather than the journey of two loving people. This calculating strategy is very dangerous, and although the number of married years is getting better, the relationship is worsening. Finally, there has to be a balance of compromise in the marriage. Having one spouse over-exert and exhaust their efforts while the other idly stands by is NOT a means to stay together, and makes the marriage more unhealthy, even abusive.

Toxic relationships and marriages from adults lead to toxic behavior from their children!

Do you feel you may be having relationship problems, or feeling depressed from marital issues? Check your mental status by taking the Dr. Owens, M.D. Pre-Screen Mental Health Assessment

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