AskDro Speaks on, “For Colored Girls”….The Pain of the Truth ( Part I)

Both Strength and Vulnerability in Crystal...Do You Agree?

I must share with you that this post will be shared in several parts.  The themes of depression, bad relationships and domestic violence were very strong.  The movie is just too involved to attempt to provide analysis in one post and many of you have been anxiously waiting on my clinical perspectives of this movie.  Of course, there are many mixed emotions and reviews  about Tyler Perry’s movie, “For Colored Girls.” However, I applaud Mr.Perry for such a phenomenal production of the poetry,  prose and  the “uncovering of pain” in this movie.

And the Oscar goes to…..Kimberly Elise for her portrayal of “Crystal!” This character represented both vulnerability and strength. Crystal’s depression was environmental and self-inflicted, to a degree.   Her husband was suffering from what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD.  This disorder is very common in veterans that have actively participated in combat.  This is a treatable disease, but  in the past there has been some difficulty with access to care.  However, this is NOT the case today with the Veteran’s Administration.  The government has stepped up its game and there are clinical services out there for our “Men of Valor.”

Now many of us have asked the question, ” Why did Crystal stay with  this abusive man?” You can not imagine how many African-American women remain in  abusive relationships that have  eventually turned deadly.  Here is my hypothesis: she really had no where else to go. It some instances it is a matter of basic economics,  “If I leave, where will I go with my children?”  The maternal instinct  in most good mothers is survival and safety of their children.  I surmise  that she (along with many others currently in America)  took the physical, verbal and emotional abuse from her live-in lover, because she thought that it would deflect his attention from the children. However, the mistake that Crystal made is not realizing that an aggressor seeks to hurt/torture his object-of-affection. Therefore they really don’t  want to kill the love-object, they simply want to project their internal pain onto their object-of-affection.  If you are in this type of relationship, remember they may come after your children, parents or any other  individual that may be close to you.  This type of behavior is not necessarily associated with Veterans, but it is associated with the behavior of a psychopath.

I also think that Crystal was both fearful and co-dependent; this is very common in today’s society. Many woman may want to hate Crystal, but it is probably because a portion of her is inside of them.  Also, please be reminded that this phenomenology is also present in abusive gay and lesbian relationships. And for all of you supposedly “strong”  Black Women, you can NOT just walk away.  They will KILL you!  Sudden changes in  behavior can ignite dangerousness in some of them. Murder-Suicide in relationships is more common now and  therefore there are certain precautions that one has to take when escaping this type of relationship. Finally, there is a lot of pain associated with the truth! The truth is a lot of you are in abusive relationships, and really want out but don’t know how!

Crystal did break free in the end, but was there REALLY freedom for her in the end…probably not! The nightmare of her losses will remain as ghosts in her eternity.

Do you agree with my analysis? What are some of your thoughts about this character? Did Tyler Perry go too far by allowing the kids to be murdered? Do you know someone in this type of relationship? Are you in this type of relationship? Please let me hear your voice on this blog-post….

AskDrO.com is a blog site which believes in the power of a healthy mind! Victims of sexual, physical, emotional abuse and others may suffer from depression and anxiety and never know it. Take control over your mental health and start by taking the Dr. Owens Mental Health Prescreen Assessment. We are always here for you! Many of you want to follow-up with a clinician, I am here for you so please call 404-575-4785 for immediate help. If you are suicidal, please go immediately to the Emergency Room!

Tommorrow’s discussion on this movie…..Infidelity and HIV! Brothers on the Down-Low, Why?

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