Things have been rocky in your relationship for awhile. She doesn’t look at you the way she used to, or even attempt to have “relations”. At first you think that you’re overreacting. But wait, there it is again. You know that nagging feeling, that sickness in your gut… that’s telling you that your significant other is stepping out on you.
You don’t believe it for awhile.
But then you take off the blinders, open your eyes, look around and notice the signs. It’s been staring you in your face all along.
Stop and think. Although you initial feelings of hurt and anger are warranted. Sometimes some relationships are worth saving. An affair is not always the end all for every couple, usually it’s a cry for help. A plea that your relationship is out of touch, but don’t fret.
You can GET PAST AN AFFAIR.
Your Tango offers five steps to getting your relationship back on track.
1) Understand The Affair. One of the most important aspects on the healing journey is that you come to an understanding of the affair. A lot of times, the reason your partner betrayed you had nothing to do with you at all.
It may have been his or her personal weakness that caused them to fall into temptation. This is not to say that you are perfect. There are always aspects of a marriage that can be improved or need to be worked on. It is important to know though what exactly the cause was so that you both can do whatever it takes to fix the problem.
2) Know That You Are Not Alone. Remember that you are not the only one that has experienced a betrayal before. Sadly, many marriages go through infidelity, especially these days. At first, knowing you are not the only one may not really make you feel any better about all this but when time passes you will realize that it may be beneficial to talk to people that know what you have been through.
Thankfully, there are plenty of support groups available that you can get in touch with others who have walked in your shoes. Don’t Let Depression Rain On Your Relationship
3) Get Help From A Professional. I can only recommend that you look for a professional that you can both work with to help recover from the affair and help you head down the right track with your marriage.
First of all, you will probably be extremely overwhelmed by everything you just found out. Maybe you do not even know what to think, where to start, what to do. A professional can walk along side you as the devastation is faced in your life. They will be able to sort out and make sense of all those overwhelming feelings and speak with the both of you to guide you step by step to get you moving toward recovery.
4) Understand That Healing Takes Time. Keep in mind that healing takes time. Even if you seek help from a professional, things will not automatically go back to normal.
The first step is working toward forgiveness. This may be the most important and yet the hardest step of all. When you can think back of the betrayal and not associate any pain with it anymore you know you have come to a place of peace. Understand, though, that coming to peace with the betrayal does not mean that you have fixed your marriage. Your marriage still needs to be worked on to strengthen the relationship and to build hedges to protect it from any future dangers.
5) Share Your Story. What a great way to continue your healing in long-term recovery. You can share your story and help someone else when you are in a better place with all that has occured in your marriage!