A number of my female patients have disclosed to me unhappiness with their partners for a specific reason-Premature Ejaculation. I really need your help with this topic readers. Let’s begin with a small quiz? (Answer these questions when alone)
- Does your partner currently have a problem with “premature ejaculation?”
- If so, is this frustrating for you SEXUALLY at this time?
- Has he tried any methods to control this problem?
- Is this problem happening each time you attempt to have sex?
- Have you sought out sexual satisfaction (orgasm) via other methods? (masturbation, extra-relationships or stimulatory devices)
I do understand that those are some pretty tough questions, but I need you to be open and honest so that this post can be somewhat helpful to you.
Next, I really need to give you a working definition;
Premature ejaculation is usually as a result of a man ejaculating earlier, during intercourse, than his significant other. If this behavior happens recurrently…..Problems, Problems, Problems!
If this happens infrequently-then cool. If this happens too much the partner will most probably become perturbed and upset with their male mate. Women don’t USUALLY have this problem. This emotions take the place of anger because the emotion of anger is usually a little more intense.
Pitfalls to being with a partner who ejaculates to quick
- Work Performance Problems
- Interpersonal Conflicts with other family members and friends
- Inability to focus on tasks for extended periods of time
- Extra-marital affairs
- Legal Issues (divorce, separation, etc)
The one that we need to discuss today is , “Is Premature Ejaculation Grounds for Divorce?” I decided to consult an attorney friend of mine for some basic legal advice to help with this post. According to the Anderson Firm, A Business and Legal Boutique in Atlanta, (www.theandersonfirm.com) the usual top reasons for DIVORCE in America are A) Finance, B) Adultery and C) Sex issues.After some research I discovered that the sex issues range from problems with frequency, freak-e-ness of a partner or requests to have more than one partner.
Divorce secondary to finance issues is certainly understandable. Being that we are currently coming out of last year’s recession, I guess couples are now stronger. I can now understand why last year a saw a large number of couples with communication problems. However, this year I don’t recall seeing as many couples as in 2010 and 2011. The economy must be getting better.
Divorce secondary to Adultery is a common as it was in biblical days. However, now some people will accept it while others will NOT. This behavior is risky for more than a couple of reasons and I can certainly understand why it is the culprit in the end of a number of marriages. Some people can never forget that one time their spouse messed around on them.
Divorce secondary to Sex Issues. (Freak-E-Ness) Just last month, Newt Gingrich’s second wife revealed to us that he wanted an open marriage. This is a sign of freak-e-ness. There are a lot of people into new sex. There will be another post at a later date. However, this causes a lot of marriages to end.
Now let’s talk about this Pre-Mature Ejaculation Dilemma:
- This is a serious problem.
- It is the cause of the demise of many marriages.
- It can cause dysfunction in every area of a person’s life.
Psychological-stress, anxiety and depression can cause premature ejaculation. Also, trauma and problems with intimacy are cardinal reasons for this problem also.
Biological-low hormone levels, serotonin deficits, thyroid issues and infections can cause problems with premature ejaculation.
Social-environmental factors such as fear and fertility issues can cause premature ejaculation problems
Risk Factors for this disease:
Endocrine Problems-Low testosterone is usually a problem with erections (mostly) but can also cause premature ejaculation, too.
Health Problems-Anxiety, hypertension and physical trauma are the major issues in this category.
Relationship Problems*-Controlling and or abusive spouses can cause this issue.
Erectile Dysfunction-If you have problems maintaining an erection, you will most probably have problems with ejaculatory experiences.
Stress-Have you ever had sex under pressure. This could be either very good or very bad.
Certain medications-anti-hypertensives and psychotropics can certainly be a culprit.
Now that you have heard all of that, I am sure you want to hear some possible remedies;
If you or your lover is having problems in this area, please go and obtain a clinical work-up first. However, here are a couple of possible remedies to discuss with your licensed provider-caregiver. Stay away from that Yohimbine. It has a number of serious side-effects and you need to be worked-up before starting any type of therapy.
The Squeeze Technique (Explained Below)
The Valsalva Maneuver (see video)
The Stop my Urine Technique (see Video)
The one that I will explain in detail is the “Squeeze Technique.” All psychiatrists should be able teach you how to do this! However, please only practice this with your own significant other.
A. Start the sexual activity while stimulating the penis.
B. When you feel the sensation of ejaculation, have your partner squeeze gingerly the head of your penis.
C. Wait 30 seconds after the squeeze and re-start foreplay.
D.After Erection-Sexual Activity-Sensation- then Squeeze Again and repeat steps B and C.
Let’s start our discussion of this issue on the blog. Some of you may have some other techniques.Feel free to share here on the blog.
Please Vote: Is Premature Ejaculation Grounds for Divorce? Yes or No… Post your answer in the comment section!
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