Lovers or Friends?

Are you familiar with MTV’s reality show Friend Zone? No? Well here’s the rundown. Two friends are featured on the show with one believing they are helping to prepare the other for a blind date. In reality,  the date is for the unsuspecting platonic friend. The two are then forced to confront the option of being possible lovers, awkward friends or just someone they used to know (if things go south).

It’s natural for two individuals to become close after spending a significant amount of time together. You work together, go out to eat, have mutual friends, you like the same things BUT you’re still technically “just friends”. And rightfully so. Good, solid relationships should be built on friendship first. So what do you do when you start feeling a little more than “brotherly love” towards your friend?

Here are a few questions to consider if this applies to you:

1. Are you willing to let go of your current relationship to pursue a romantic relationship with your friend?

2. Have I always had these feelings for my friend?

3. If I’m single and my friend is single, what do I have to lose if I make a move?

It’s also important to remember that if your relationship status with your friend is questionable, you should avoid room for temptation. That means no intimate settings, excessive touching or anything else that might arouse you. On the other hand, if there are green lights on every street and the feelings are mutual then go for it! I know it’s cliche but you’ll never know unless you try. It may be awkward at first, but if the friendship is strong enough the two of you will get through it, whatever the outcome. After all, what better way to start or end Valentine’s Day this year than to have a new love in your life!

For the extended version of my “friend zone” check list and more insight on this issue, purchase my new book, “Am I in a Bad Relationship?”

Dr.O

 

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