“For Colored Girls”…Is Your Man Gay? Look Into His Eyes!(Part II)


  • In NYC, 93.4% of all new HIV cases among women occur in Black and Latino Women(Oct.10)
  • In 2006, the rate of HIV infection for Black women was 15X greater that of White women and 4X  greater that of Latino women
  • In 2006, African-Americans accounted for 45% of all new HIV cases in the 50 states and D.C.
  • In 2006, African-American women accounted for 55.7% of all NEW cases of HIV in America

Now Janet Jackson’s character, Jo/Red, is all too familiar to many of us in corporate America. Several of my male friends felt that this character basically castrated her man using her power, wealth and influence.  However, her husband gave her a little more than she bargained for, HIV.  Here  is the thing ladies, most of you know when your man begans exhibiting strange and bizarre behaviors.   Although I don’t want to say this  but I will, many of you knew before you got married,  that  your husband stared a little too much at the “man next door.”  In the past, illicit sexual  behavior was somewhat more acceptable and much less risky.  However, now you have to “Look Into His Eyes” and ask the right question(s). Many men who sleep with other men Do Not consider themselves gay/homosexual. Therefore, you must be more clear when asking your questions. A good phrase to use would be, “Do you ENJOY sleeping with other men?” Now that process-logic question forces him to address several issues above and below the surface. Of course, you would have to accept some confirmed assumptions. (yes I said that)  However, the answer to this question could be a matter of your life or death.

Many of you are looking for someone to love or have regular sex with in today’s society. ( THE TRUTH)Some refer to  phenomena as “friends with benefits.” A lot of people  whether  gay or straight, saved or unsaved ALL  struggle with this very same issue. Yes, there are people in the church that have chosen to follow God, with their whole heart, who still have both pre and post-marital sex. None of us can just turn on and off our emotions through the pulpit!

One last point for the post that I have been asked to address by a number of women is “condom use.”   Should you use a condom during sex when married? If you have any doubt about your husband’s sexual behaviors (illicit) yes you should untill there is clarity to your situation. A good discussion would be appropriate. However, an even better solution would be to “go on strike” until post HIVtesting together.

Do you agree with the above analysis? Do you have any recommendations for a women who might be in this type of relationship? What are some warning signs of this dangerous behavior? Is your man Gay? Do you really care if your man sleeps with other men?

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