Should You Want A Thug At 30+…Or Just Grown Up?

Is he husband material?

You’re walking from an Atlanta Falcons game with your girlfriends, when suddenly you see him…a rough-looking, pants-sagging, fitted-cap wearing, smooth-talking man. You see him socializing outside of the stadium with his friends, makes a ruckus, laughing and drawing the attention from almost everyone who passes by (whether wanted or unwanted). As you walk past him, he pauses, looks at you, nods in your direction and a “wassup baby?” leaves his lips. Finally, as he gets into his car and drives off, you can hear his sound system from half a block away. Throughout your drive home, the event plays over and over in your mind, analyzing the situation, wondering if you could have said something back…was he honestly interested, or was that his way of saying a friendly “hello”. This high-school giddy and warm feeling resulted from being acknowledged by a thug…but YOU are 38 years old.

We recently completed a blog post wondering if gentlemen who court women were an endangered species…and if so….WHY? Following that series, performed more research and dug up some answers. We all want a little edge and excitement in our lives; sometimes a woman’s way of having that excitement is dating a “bad boy”. If you have ever wondered why decent, stable women continue to endure a “no-good” male companion, it’s because he provides a “rush” through her veins that a stable man can’t. Thugs, “d-boys” (drug dealers), ex-cons, rappers, and some athletes are the most common types of “rough” men that are highly sought after, but in a world where most of our young men are wearing skinny jeans and big scarves, the “thug” appeal is becoming scarce. In essence, the thug becomes like a prized lion in a safari, and aiming for anything lower would mean dissatisfaction and compromise of a woman’s preferences.

Another aspect of the “thug” appeal can resort to simplicity. In a world where men wear stylish shoes, expensive suits, get manicures, pedicures, etc. simplicity is still king, and as complicated as women are, they love their men simple. That’s why the “t-shirt and jeans” look will never go out; it’s simple, classic, comfortable, and overall, stylish according to the type of man. Even further, a wife beater that shows off a “tatted up” body gives the impression of a rebel with an untold story, and even an excuse for a conversation piece.

With all these interesting dynamics of a thug, the question remains….when is too old to look for a “thug” companion? Because today’s music paints one in a positive and highly desirable light, is it now okay to go out and look for a thug? EVEN in your professional 30’s….or 40’s? Is it worth going out to the clubs every weekend? Is it worth dressing younger than you really are? Changing your personality…or even dumbing down your intelligence? Destroying your credit, enduring baby mama drama, or even running from trouble with the law? The thug mentality is a prominent force in the dating and love pool, and that’s not going away. But at which point (or age) do most women look at more beneficial and constructive ways to find excitement, let alone “love on the edge”?

Edge is more than looking or talking the part, and it comes in many shapes or forms. In the end, it all comes back to YOU! Find out what it is you think you’re missing; the answer to that question might just lie in your shortcomings! Perhaps maybe you aren’t being edgy enough, or open-minded to satisfy your desire for thrills. You can date thugs, drug dealers, and all the gangsters you want, but after all the thrill-seeking of potentially great sex and/or close calls, if you aren’t self-respecting (or know what you want for that matter), a bad habit is bound to form, and no matter how many “thugs” you date, he will never be enough. A little excitement and edge in your life is never a bad thing; it keeps you on your toes. But running around, looking for the biggest, baddest boy around town just for kicks…? YOU NEED TO GROW UP!

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