Question of the Day: Are You Being Used?
Every Sunday we sit in church and think about how we can become better people. One might think,
perhaps I shouldn’t have eaten that last cupcake. Or
maybe I shouldn’t have bought myself a gift while shopping for my sister. Or lastly,
I shouldn’t have secretly watched “The Game,” while my best friend was having a mini-breakdown over the phone.
Yes, there’s always room for improvement. With focus and good intent, we can all do better. The truth is, most of us have much more to give. BUT it is
also true that some people don’t know when they are giving too much.
“When does giving become too much?” And, “At what point are people TAKING ADVANTAGE of you?”
If you feel like this might be the case, I first commend you for your kindness. However, I encourage you to answer the following questions:
1. Do you have a hard time saying “no” to people?
2. Do you consider being a “helpful person” an important part of your identity?
3. Do you notice the people you do favors for are always asking for more?
4. Is it unusual for a friend to return a favor, after you’ve helped them out?
5. Do you often put others needs before your own?
6. Do you ever feel that people rely on you too much?
7. At home or work, do people expect you to pick up the slack?
*If you find more “yes” answers than “no,” you may be letting your generosity get the best of you.
The saying, “you never know what you have until it’s gone” rings true to a person that only gives, gives and gives. Just like the classic story
“The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein—if you don’t stop giving, you’ll end up with nothing. So, it’s important that you recognize
when to draw the line. This may mean distancing yourself from certain people, acquiring these skills with the aid of a professional, or simply learning to say “no.”
That being said, it’s also important to look internally and take responsibility for accepting behavior that’s become a detriment to you. If there are people that take advantage of you in your life, they are there because
you’ve allowed them to be. Consider how you may be attracting such types of people or conduct, and how you can change this for the better.
Remember to strive for self-love first! Then, be sure to keep your true friends close; their value is priceless.