Why Is Breaking Up Hard to Do?

Of course we have all been in a situation where someone has had to be cut off.  Voluntarily or involuntarily, it is hard to do.  But why?  It is difficult because of two factors: 1) Ego 2) Failure

Ego vs. Failure

Every human has a “macho” way of being.  It’s called our pride, our ego.  When we know that we are good at doing a task, we get a good feeling.  This feeling promotes us to be proud of what we have completed!  For example, let’s take Beyoncé.   That girl can perform her butt off!  After her first solo performance I can only imagine that she was EXTREMELY excited.  Right then, at that moment, she had made her dreams come true.  That feeling alone is so huge that it could probably sink a boat (LOL).  So, when breaking it off when a special someone, not getting that feeling saddens us.  We are uneasy by not accomplishing the ultimate goal.  Marriage for some, or perhaps the 90-day rule for others.  Either way, we didn’t get “there”.

Another way we get a sense of failure is that our whole routine is totally thrown off.  You get so used to having that particular person to go to when you need an escape or to yield advice from.  The first post-breakup reality checks are the worst!  You reach for your cellphone to compose a simple text message saying, “Just thinking about you.”  Even though you find that to be true, you also know that you could never send that off.  You know that you now need separation to wing yourself off of those feelings for your specific other, and THAT’S where your whole routine is forced to change. And at first, it sucks.  Regardless of your feelings, breaking up can always be seen as a positive thing.  After you realize that this is the time where you are to focus on yourself, you will understand.  My advice is to take it, better yourself, and move on in hopes of something better coming along.

From a Male perspective:

Relationships are like investment portfolios.  We spend time, energy, and even money investing into our relationships.  Whether it is a mother and child or boyfriend/girlfiend relationship we treat each relationship as an investment.  Carefully making decisions that will result in hopefully the best return.

We all recall the Enron Scandal?? This is what we call a bad investment!  The sharelholders in this relationship ended up on the short end of the stick.. In life we strive not to end up empty handed in any situation, its human nature.

Most men in relationships treat it as a barter system.  When investing they want to see something in return. In most cases it is something tangible.  From a barbaric perspective the man provides the shelter, the food, and financial needs and the wife provides the children, clean home, and cooked food.

Leave your comments (or possibly discrepancies) below!  We need to hear from you.

Dr. O

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