First off, let me just start by saying that abuse, whether physical or emotional, is never okay. Keep in mind, that if you happen to be in a abusive relationship know that it’s not your fault. It’s the abuser’s. Unfortunately, many take on the notion that it is their fault and hence stay in the relationship. Do not be fooled. Don’t let him/her convince you that you deserve this type of treatment. At the end of the day, you have to make the choice leave if you truly want better for yourself.

Check out this excerpt from my new book “Am I in a Bad Relationship?” :

Dear Dr. O,

My husband is physically abusive to me. after a night of hitting me or arguing, he wants to be intimate, which leads to sex. I am afraid to say no. What should I do?

Dear Mrs. Y,

First, you have to seek out help and gradually remove yourself from this type of situation. I applaud you for sharing your story because I am sure there are many others in the same or similar situation. Mrs. Y, plan your exit from this abusive relationship. don’t move too quickly, as he may become more intense and aggressive if he suspects that you are trying to leave him. the bottom line is that you must remove yourself from the situation. If you are just too afraid that your spouse will physically attack you when you attempt to leave, have the local police escort you off the premises. they are trained to handle this type of situation.

Too many people put up with abuse when they don’t have to. It will be a challenge to leave the situation because you probably still love this person, have children with them, or won’t be as financially stable without them. Don’t be discouraged, because you can do it. Just take your time (not too long), make a strategy and gradually leave this relationship behind.

Dr. O