This post is dedicated to all me readers who have loss their mom.
There is a happy weekend for some, but for many they dread it like the plague. Each year when those of us with mother’s are out celebrating, they are at home usually fighting back the tears laced with pain. I would like to share with those of you who have loss your mom, crying is ALWAYS appropriate. In most cases, this was the first and probably closest relationship many of us will ever have in this lifetime. This catharsis is needed and an annual flood is alright and sometimes therapeutic. Do what you need to do to survive this Sunday. I can’t share personally in your experience because my mother is still here with me. However, I have treated a number of patients whim it takes several years to shake-it. If you never come back to this blog remember, “The depth of the grief is directly proportional to the depth of the relationship. Break it down for us Dr.O. What I am saying is, “If you and mom were close, then it is going to take some time. However, rest assured you will make it and God shall wipe away all of your tears.
Now many of you may ask, “How can I make it through another sad Mother’s Day?” I am going to share the answer after I highlight a couple of things for you.
- Your mother is technically the first person to know of your being
- Your mother is the first person that could most probably feel and relate to your pain
- Your mother believed in you when no one else would
- No one’s touch feels/felt like your mother’s touch and
- It was just something about her voice that could remove all of your doubts/pain.
Now that we have had a moment to reflect back on a “Mother’s Love,” I have to ask you a couple of questions? Have you began replacing those painful memories of your mom’s last days with the fond memories of when y’all had good times? Have you stopped beating up yourself because you did not visit as much as you should? Have you forgiven yourself for that last little falling-out that you may have had? Have you forgiven yourself because you never returned her tupperware that she put those fresh collards in on Sunday? Have you forgiven yourself for not saying, “Mom I Love You” enough while she was here. Take this weekend to declare out loud, “Mom I love you and I really miss your touch.” Guess what, mom knew you wouldn’t return those dishes. It made her glad to have a part of her in your home. Moreover, guess what mom told me to tell you that ‘You were her favorite.” Take this weekend to smile, reflect, laugh and cry and enjoy the wonderful memories that you have of your mother.
Now I want to share some practical tips to make it through the weekend.
- Purchase some of mom’s favorite fresh flowers and put them in your home.
- Try to bake/cook one her favorite or secret recipes that she taught you.
- Pull out that scrap book and look at those famous holidays and recall her smiles.
- Visit, if you can handle it, her final resting place.
Things I don’t want you to do this weekend.
- Isolate all weekend from family and friends.
- Drink excessive alcohol or over-eat the entire weekend.
- Scroll through every stores “Mother’s Day cards.
- Get angry with God because he choose that beautiful flower, “your mother.”
If you have siblings, get together with them if at all possible. If you are an only child, hang out with a few close friends. And for God’s Sake, “Answer your cell-phone Sunday!” Remember we care about you and God loves you also.
P.S. If you need some laughter after reading this click here.
Take care and be strong this weekend,