Office Nookie: Don’t Do It

There is a time and place for everything. There’s a time to live and a time to die. There’s times when you can get your kids right then and then there are times you have to post-pone it until you get home (we all know how that feels). There’s a time and place to tell your friend that she’s offended you and there’s definitely a time and placeĀ  for “adult play dates”. BUT your office is NEVER the the place and your 8-5PM shift is most definitely not the time.

For one, it’s tacky. Who wants to walk in the copy room and see you and Joe going at it behind the file cabinet? You haven’t even had your coffee yet to help wake you up but you’re set for the rest of the day after walking in on that. It’s not like it’s going to be a secret either because I’m sure everyone in the office will know, especially with this record and immediately post to YouTube era we’re in. If you’re the guilty one and even the one who walked in, now there’s going to be tension and you guys will be uncomfortable and won’t be able to perform your duties as well all because you couldn’t control yourself and got caught.

Second, getting down in the office WILL GET YOU FIRED (maybe not immediately if you’re sleeping with boss but that’s for another post). Sure, you may have gotten away with it once or twice, but most businesses have security cameras in place whether you’re aware of them or not. One day Bob the security guard may be scheduled to review the tapes two months later, see you and Joe, and report the both of you. There probably won’t be any ifs, ands or buts about it either and there shouldn’t be. If you’re bold enough to mix business with pleasure on “the man’s time” then you should be big and bad enough to deal with the consequences.

Third, it’s just NASTY! Your co-workers don’t want to use the equipment you’ve been humping on, nor do they want to have to wonder if that’s all you’ve exposed yourself to (other people’s desks or the counter where you make your coffee for example) in the work room. The office environment, is a community environment and no one wants there community polluted with your bodily fluids.

Plus, if you go around delivering more than reports throughout the week, you’ll have the reputation of being easy, which means more people will approach you and the one day you do decide to say no, a sexual harassment case could formulate and that’s just bad business for everyone in the company even though you were the one who sparked the whole fire.

As a business professional, who runs a successful practice, I’d like to give you a few conduct rules to adhere to:

  2. Make sure to dress professional and appropriate at all times so no one gets the wrong idea. Ladies, this means no clothing that’s too tight or revealing and if you have a certain garment on that requires some extra support like a gurtle or spanx, please follow suit.
  3. Use some self-control. You’re not a hormonal teenager anymore, so suppress the urge and cool out.
  4. It’s okay to mingle and get to know you’re co-workers but avoid excessive flirting and suggestive gestures of any kind. There’s no sense in getting someone riled up with no way of escape.

As always, I hope this post was helpful, thanks again for stopping by.

Dr. O

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