Last night, after watching RHOA, I began to ponder over a couple of women’s sexuality issues. The first issue is, “Can a woman be on the DL?’ This thought ran through my mind because of Kim of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Although she has admitted her sexuality openly to the blogs and tabloids, she still seems very uncomfortable when Tracy( her lover) comes around. Is she on the DL but just going about it the wrong way. Rumor has it that most female exotic dancers are bi-sexual, as well as, freaks. This is a sign of CONFUSEMENT! (new word by AskDrO) I have also shared with a couple of you, in blog land, and here are some of the responses for why some woman are turning to other woman.
Top Ten Reasons I’ve been told
- There is a shortage of straight Black men in Atl, DC and Chicago.
- I want MORE intimacy!
- Women are better “lovers.”
- I am tired of being hurt.
- He Cheated on me.
- She knows what I REALLY like.
- Men play too many GAMES.
- I am more comfortable with another woman.
- Women tend to be more Faithful.
- This relationship is Not about sex.
The second issue that I have been asked to provide a little insight on is, “Are women who prefer intimate relationships other women usually victims of childhood sexual and or physical abuse?” The response would be two-fold. Yes, usually when a person (either male or female) has been victimized, there is a phenomena called “identification with the aggressor.” With this, one of two things can happen, aversion towards the opposite sex or affinity for intimacy towards the same sex . Circumspectingly, some victims of abuse may even choose a life of prostitution to conquer the” pain from their childhood.” This is a subject that I am sure I will have to provide more insight on later. In any case, the person may choose which ever process feels most safe as an adult.
There are no all right or all wrong answers to the “Tales from the Gay Club” but it is a phenomena that needs much more discussion and analysis. There has to be a post pretty soon that addresses the number of young ladies, in high school, that are lesbian and bisexual. They have no problems letting you know where they stand sexually.
Is this because they were sexually traumatized? Are they victims of other types of abuse? Where are their mothers? Are we at a critical point in society where everything goes?