Are you tired of being lonely?
I was talking to a woman the other day and she was completely distraught about seeing her ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. She couldn’t understand why she was so upset about their unexpected encounter. She thought she had gotten him out of her system. Instead a flood of emotions began to drown her and she spent two days crying and reflecting on her current relationship status.
She is 42, divorced and still alone. In spite of all the positives in her life, the negatives of being alone weigh heavy on her heart and mind. She feels, that in spite of all of her accomplishments, her quorum of cronies she still lacks the love she so desperately desires. Why is she still alone, when will her prince come? She can’t seem to come to a conclusion about the state of her loneliness.
Could it be that this woman like so many other singles have come to a relationship roadblock and not sure what direction to take. Detours often throw us off course and lead us down a street of despair.
So, whether you are in a so-called committed relationship or going it solo, loneliness is a state of mind we all wish we could avoid.
Ok, you are tired of being lonely. What are you going to do about it? If we were honest with ourselves we would admit that we have had a hand in our state of loneliness. More importantly, many of us lack the tools to create and build healthy relationships.
Begin by examining your current dating and relationship habits. Do you find yourselves settling for the lump of coal instead of the shiny clear-cut diamond? Settling means that we are willing to accept the first thing that comes our way just to prove to others that we can get someone: they might be a lying, cheating, broke, low-life but we are not alone. Those that prey on lonely people can smell the desperation a mile away.
Desperation has such a pungent odor. Those looking for a one-night stand or a brief trist, immediately detect the smell of loneliness, low self-esteem and the longing to be held, kissed and caressed. Desperation resembles the fragrance of hot, moldy trash fermenting in a dumpster. There is a combination of odors and one scent cannot quite be distinguished from another but one thing is true, it stinks.
Do not allow your feelings of loneliness to create an aroma of hopelessness. Just because you are alone doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you – it simply means that you need to be more sensitive to who you allow in your circle of trust and ultimately love.
Are you lonely tonight? Don’t allow your desire for physical intimacy to turn into a booty call. After the night of hot, sweaty passion comes to an end, you are still lonely. Why subject yourself to an emotional roller coaster ride that will end with you feeling dizzy and sick to your stomach.
As always if you want to talk, don’t be afraid to stop by and see me.
Dr. O
